Motorcycles are dangerous. Get a horse. 
Talk about high maintenance.
Been arguing with my sister about this for like 45 years. I park my bike when there's snow, top up the gas and charge the battery. She waits patiently where I left her until I am ready to ride again. Horses want to eat every day, they want water, and they crap tons all the time. No contest as far as maintenance goes...
And when you fall off a horse, you fall a lot farther than even the tallest of ADV bikes.
I used to ride horses...as soon as I got my first dirt bike that was it. 38 years later and I don't miss them one "bit"!
A horse crashed me once. Horses are even more dangerous forms of transport than motorcycles and bicycles (which are evenly dangerous).
I had a bullrider once question my choice of transport as 'awfully dangerous'... I used small words when I explained that I had a modicum of control over my ride, and if I *did* fall off, my bike wasn't prone to coming back to run me over again in a fit of pique. No, I did not use the word pique.
LT