Author Topic: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse? (Read 22970 times)

giaka · « **on:** January 29, 2014, 01:50:19 PM »

So what are your post apocalypse skills?

Lets see things I am pretty good at...

All things mechanical, worked as a small engine machinist in the past and rebuilt several large engines as well
I can fly a plane as well as repair or build them
Decent understanding of structures in regards to building and maintaining them
I can reload ammo, pour bullets, etc. I can skin and quarter large game (as well as the small stuff obviously)
I can brew beer and make ethanol (for drinking or for fuel)
Pretty decent gardener, vegetables and herbs

Good computer and networking skills but that might not be an asset in post apocalypse LOL
I can ride a unicycle

I'm NOT Carl · « **Reply #1 on:** January 29, 2014, 02:04:12 PM »

I can kill you and take your stuff.

Carl

Justin · « **Reply #2 on:** January 29, 2014, 02:12:57 PM »

I can feed a lot of people.

bomber · « **Reply #3 on:** January 29, 2014, 02:23:20 PM »

I can set up El-shaped mechanical ambushes, know when to set em off, and what to do with the proceeds.

I've been shot at and returned fire accurately.

I can weld (it ain't pretty, but it holds).

I can change a baby's diapers, and don't mind doing so.

I can pilot a fixed wing aircraft, but have never landed one. Taken off, but not landed.

I can sorta kinda cook.

I can create improvised weaponry.

I'm a pretty good wrench, and a decent mechanical improviser.

edited to add -- your woman won't leave you for me ;-}

Mrs. DantesDame · « **Reply #4 on:** January 29, 2014, 02:33:52 PM »

I can reproduce

bomber · « **Reply #5 on:** January 29, 2014, 02:36:49 PM »

Quote from: Mrs. DantesDame on January 29, 2014, 02:33:52 PM

I can reproduce

thus endth the thread

satxbonneville · « **Reply #6 on:** January 29, 2014, 02:37:41 PM »

I'm sure I'll make pretty good fertilizer.

Edited to add that it has nothing to do with the above post on reproducing. I've been out of that business since the late 80's.

fourstring · « **Reply #7 on:** January 29, 2014, 02:42:29 PM »

Quote from: satxbonneville on January 29, 2014, 02:37:41 PM

I'm sure I'll make pretty good fertilizer.

Right here. Id be dead soon. So there's that going for me.

Jim · « **Reply #8 on:** January 29, 2014, 02:46:26 PM »

Quote from: Mrs. DantesDame on January 29, 2014, 02:33:52 PM

I can reproduce

Did I miss some unknown thread where we should start sending ice cream and pickles?

Mrs. DantesDame · « **Reply #9 on:** January 29, 2014, 03:03:42 PM »

Quote from: Jim on January 29, 2014, 02:46:26 PM

Did I miss some unknown thread where we should start sending ice cream and pickles?

No, thanks. I think the world will end before I have children

JReazor · « **Reply #10 on:** January 29, 2014, 03:08:20 PM »

I would be fairly useless unless there's a need to install MS Office on 50,000 computers or obscure comic book trivia will save your life somehow.

kneescrubber · « **Reply #11 on:** January 29, 2014, 03:16:25 PM »

Quote from: giaka on January 29, 2014, 01:50:19 PM

I can ride a unicycle

I shudder to think what kind of apocalypse that would be where this is a valuable asset.

But, I can juggle.

Jim · « **Reply #12 on:** January 29, 2014, 03:23:55 PM »

I'd think a unicycle could out pace a zombie...

Cookie · « **Reply #13 on:** January 29, 2014, 03:25:59 PM »

Quote from: Justin on January 29, 2014, 02:12:57 PM

I can feed a lot of people.

I was thinking the same. Fuck survival. I'm going down shooting and will gladly take my rightful place among the undead.

Cookie · « **Reply #14 on:** January 29, 2014, 03:27:00 PM »

Quote from: Mrs. DantesDame on January 29, 2014, 02:33:52 PM

I can reproduce

What, you're a copy machine now?

bomber · « **Reply #15 on:** January 29, 2014, 03:29:16 PM »

Quote from: Mrs. DantesDame on January 29, 2014, 03:03:42 PM

Quote from: Jim on January 29, 2014, 02:46:26 PM
Did I miss some unknown thread where we should start sending ice cream and pickles?

No, thanks. I think the world will end before I have children

You just keep tempting fate, doncha?

;-}

giaka · « **Reply #16 on:** January 29, 2014, 04:01:13 PM »

Quote from: Cookie on January 29, 2014, 03:27:00 PM

Quote from: Mrs. DantesDame on January 29, 2014, 02:33:52 PM
I can reproduce

What, you're a copy machine now?

New name, Kinkos

misanthropist · « **Reply #17 on:** January 29, 2014, 05:06:36 PM »

I have some handy skills. I'm good with machines and pretty skilled at working on a lot of different types of communication equipment. And then there's guns.

But I think actually my communication and people skills would be the most important. I am very good at dealing with groups of people and I typically get put in charge of things anywhere I work for that reason.

Jim · « **Reply #18 on:** January 29, 2014, 05:17:45 PM »

I'm thinking grid electricity will stop fairly quickly (municipal water pumping & purification would stop). Obtaining clean water will be high on the survival list for all.

Scratch · « **Reply #19 on:** January 29, 2014, 05:28:52 PM »

Quote from: Mrs. DantesDame on January 29, 2014, 02:33:52 PM

I can reproduce

We're talking post-apocalypse; not "what will bring the apocalypse".

squeezer · « **Reply #20 on:** January 29, 2014, 05:29:49 PM »

I'm a megalomaniac with the organizational skills to develop an autocratic dictatorship with myself in charge.

I'll find a place for the skills the rest of you have.

P.S. I also know when to use who vs. whom. Somebody will have to.

coho · « **Reply #21 on:** January 29, 2014, 05:43:15 PM »

Quote from: kneescrubber on January 29, 2014, 03:16:25 PM

Quote from: giaka on January 29, 2014, 01:50:19 PM
I can ride a unicycle

I shudder to think what kind of apocalypse that would be where this is a valuable asset.

But, I can juggle.

ClownPocalypse.

kneescrubber · « **Reply #22 on:** January 29, 2014, 05:51:02 PM »

Quote from: coho on January 29, 2014, 05:43:15 PM

Quote from: kneescrubber on January 29, 2014, 03:16:25 PM
Quote from: giaka on January 29, 2014, 01:50:19 PM
I can ride a unicycle

I shudder to think what kind of apocalypse that would be where this is a valuable asset.

But, I can juggle.

ClownPocalypse.

Exactly.

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Jim · « **Reply #23 on:** January 29, 2014, 06:18:53 PM »

In related, by wording, news... I heard this on the radio while talking about China's air quality:
smogpocalypse

http://theweek.com/article/index/251497/8-scary-facts-about-chinas-smogpocalypse

sodapop6620 · « **Reply #24 on:** January 29, 2014, 06:32:30 PM »

I can panic.

Cookie · « **Reply #25 on:** January 29, 2014, 06:45:11 PM »

Quote from: sodapop6620 on January 29, 2014, 06:32:30 PM

I can panic.

Ooo ooo, I can help with that!!

Stripes · « **Reply #26 on:** January 29, 2014, 06:56:29 PM »

I can blend in.

Meemuh · « **Reply #27 on:** January 29, 2014, 07:46:08 PM »

Quote from: bomber on January 29, 2014, 02:23:20 PM

I can pilot a fixed wing aircraft, but have never landed one. Taken off, but not landed.

CLAY · « **Reply #28 on:** January 29, 2014, 08:01:26 PM »

I can weld, work metal, wood, and such.
I can shoot well and probably could take on a small island nation if I can have a few good people to outfit and work with.
I can trap and catch food using stuff I find outdoors.
I know how to filter and purify water for drinking.
I can hunt.
I can cook.
I can make fire with basic elements (flint, steel).
I can read people pretty well.
I have a bugout plan.
I can catch fish with basic elements.
I can brew and distill.
I can tear down an engine and rebuild it.
I can make love to my woman and leave her breathless.

(At least that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.)
Most importantly I can adapt!

You will all be welcome at Claymerica. Even the fertilizer people- we need people to haul water and garden too!

Connie- come on down- we'll eat you first. I'm guessing you're not toxic anymore after cutting back on the booze.

satxbonneville · « **Reply #29 on:** January 29, 2014, 09:17:35 PM »

Quote from: CLAY on January 29, 2014, 08:01:26 PM

Connie- come on down- we'll eat you first. I'm guessing you're not toxic anymore after cutting back on the booze.

You're gonna need some fava beans to go with that.

Mrs. DantesDame · « **Reply #30 on:** January 30, 2014, 12:25:57 AM »

Quote from: CLAY on January 29, 2014, 08:01:26 PM

You will all be welcome at Claymerica. Even the fertilizer people- we need people to haul water and garden too!
Connie- come on down- we'll eat you first. I'm guessing you're not toxic anymore after cutting back on the booze.

JonS · « **Reply #31 on:** January 30, 2014, 06:23:00 AM »

I have a dog.

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chornbe · « **Reply #32 on:** January 30, 2014, 06:27:46 AM »

Quote from: giaka on January 29, 2014, 01:50:19 PM

So what are your post apocalypse skills?

Lets see things I am pretty good at...

All things mechanical, worked as a small engine machinist in the past and rebuilt several large engines as well
I can fly a plane as well as repair or build them
Decent understanding of structures in regards to building and maintaining them
I can reload ammo, pour bullets, etc. I can skin and quarter large game (as well as the small stuff obviously)
I can brew beer and make ethanol (for drinking or for fuel)
Pretty decent gardener, vegetables and herbs
Good computer and networking skills but that might not be an asset in post apocalypse LOL
I can ride a unicycle

I can shoot.
I can kill critters and do the basics to make them edible.
I can probably revive my gardenin'.
I know layman's mechanical engineering and work in almost any environment.
I know a lot of tech stuff.
I know automotive and complex mechanical systems.
Most of all, I can live with my decisions without them tearing me apart and filling me with self doubt. At least these days. I'd be able to make the hard choices. I've spent the last couple years growing, maturing, hardening and doing a whole lot of self examination of the soul and shit like that. I would welcome friends and bury deep enemies and chaos brings, and sleep like a baby.
Oh, and I can play drums. Can't sing for shit. So... my options as an entertainer are incredibly limited. But I'll haiku the fuck out of the apocalypse.

Cablebandit · « **Reply #33 on:** January 30, 2014, 07:04:02 AM »

Quote from: bomber on January 29, 2014, 02:23:20 PM

I can pilot a fixed wing aircraft, but have never landed one. Taken off, but not landed.

That kind of talk will get you on the terrorist watchlist.

bomber · « **Reply #34 on:** January 30, 2014, 09:04:09 AM »

Quote from: JonS on January 30, 2014, 06:23:00 AM

I have a dog.

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OUTSTANDING MOVIE/STORY/AUTHOR!

Well Done!

bomber · « **Reply #35 on:** January 30, 2014, 09:05:24 AM »

Quote from: Cablebandit on January 30, 2014, 07:04:02 AM

Quote from: bomber on January 29, 2014, 02:23:20 PM

I can pilot a fixed wing aircraft, but have never landed one. Taken off, but not landed.

That kind of talk will get you on the terrorist watchlist.

Good point.

Edited to say, never stopped aburptly due to unplaned airframe/environment interface.

chornbe · « **Reply #36 on:** January 30, 2014, 09:47:43 AM »

Quote from: bomber on January 30, 2014, 09:05:24 AM

Edited to say, never stopped aburptly due to unplaned airframe/environment interface.

Excellent!

Papa Lazarou · « **Reply #37 on:** January 30, 2014, 11:52:57 AM »

I can make lists. Oh, wait...

satxbonneville · « **Reply #38 on:** January 30, 2014, 12:36:57 PM »

Quote from: JonS on January 30, 2014, 06:23:00 AM

I have a dog.

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That milking machine still haunts my nightmares.

CosmicCowboy · « **Reply #39 on:** January 30, 2014, 02:03:02 PM »

I'd be fairly useful at gathering food, in that I can hunt and fish. I haven't cleaned all types of game, but if you follow the advice "just cut away what you don't want to eat" what could go wrong?

I can build shit. It may not look pretty, but it will work.

I can do most maintenance on engines. Not so great once the computer gets involved, but on any small gas engine I should be ok.

I can shoot fairly well. So besides hunting I can help with defense.

While I'd prefer unarmed combat, I can improvise escrima, bo staff, and nunchuks.

Vulcanbill · « **Reply #40 on:** January 30, 2014, 03:05:29 PM »

i can judge character and recruit w/ charm and laughter

i can speak with authority while making eye contact and manipulate people into doing what needs to be done cuz it sounds like I should be in charge and people will want structure and purpose

with those skills, I can amass all your collective skills and put them to work

and I can sing so chris and I can do a mean version of little drummer boy

Vulcanbill · « **Reply #41 on:** January 30, 2014, 03:08:03 PM »

what i can't do is use the shift key

satxbonneville · « **Reply #42 on:** January 30, 2014, 03:13:01 PM »

Quote from: Vulcanbill on January 30, 2014, 03:05:29 PM

and I can sing so chris and I can do a mean version of little drummer boy

F'cking tyrant.

Vulcanbill · « **Reply #43 on:** January 30, 2014, 03:17:29 PM »

Quote from: bomber on January 30, 2014, 09:05:24 AM

Quote from: Cablebandit on January 30, 2014, 07:04:02 AM
Quote from: bomber on January 29, 2014, 02:23:20 PM

I can pilot a fixed wing aircraft, but have never landed one. Taken off, but not landed.

That kind of talk will get you on the terrorist watchlist.

Good point.

Edited to say, never stopped aburptly due to unplaned airframe/environment interface.

perhaps the best mis-spelled word ever.

chornbe · « **Reply #44 on:** January 30, 2014, 04:22:09 PM »

Quote from: Vulcanbill on January 30, 2014, 03:05:29 PM

and I can sing so chris and I can do a mean version of little drummer boy

pah rumpa bum bum, bitches.

CLAY · « **Reply #45 on:** January 30, 2014, 04:24:50 PM »

Quote from: chornbe on January 30, 2014, 06:27:46 AM

Oh, and I can play drums. Can't sing for shit. So... my options as an entertainer are incredibly limited. But I'll haiku the fuck out of the apocalypse.

squeezer · « **Reply #46 on:** January 30, 2014, 06:24:43 PM »

Quote from: chornbe on January 30, 2014, 06:27:46 AM

Oh, and I can play drums. Can't sing for shit. So... my options as an entertainer are incredibly limited. But I'll haiku the fuck out of the apocalypse.

Desolation reigns
Misery covers the land
Chris, please stop singing

Skee · « **Reply #47 on:** January 30, 2014, 06:31:32 PM »

I'm pretty much completely useless. You'll want me around for sure because i'll do nothing. I'll be the most valuable member of the community because I'll make everyone else feel so worthwhile.

Cookie · « **Reply #48 on:** January 30, 2014, 06:35:58 PM »

Quote from: Skee on January 30, 2014, 06:31:32 PM

I'm pretty much completely useless. You'll want me around for sure because i'll do nothing. I'll be the most valuable member of the community because I'll make everyone else feel so worthwhile.

You'll make good bait.

Jim · « **Reply #49 on:** January 30, 2014, 06:55:46 PM »

Quote from: Skee on January 30, 2014, 06:31:32 PM

I'm pretty much completely useless. You'll want me around for sure because i'll do nothing. I'll be the most valuable member of the community because I'll make everyone else feel so worthwhile.

At least we know who'll be king...