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Offline giaka

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How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« on: January 29, 2014, 01:50:19 PM »
So what are your post apocalypse skills?

Lets see things I am pretty good at...

All things mechanical, worked as a small engine machinist in the past and rebuilt several large engines as well
I can fly a plane as well as repair or build them
Decent understanding of structures  in regards to building and maintaining them
I can reload ammo, pour bullets, etc. I can skin and quarter large game (as well as the small stuff obviously)
I can brew beer and make ethanol (for drinking or for fuel)
Pretty decent gardener, vegetables and herbs  :P
Good computer and networking skills but that might not be an asset in post apocalypse LOL
I can ride a unicycle   :bigsmile:
I don't know how to act my age, I have never been this old before.........
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Offline I'm NOT Carl

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2014, 02:04:12 PM »
I can kill you and take your stuff.


:D

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Offline Justin

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2014, 02:12:57 PM »
I can feed a lot of people.
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Offline bomber

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2014, 02:23:20 PM »
I can set up El-shaped mechanical ambushes, know when to set em off, and what to do with the proceeds.

I've been shot at and returned fire accurately.

I can weld (it ain't pretty, but it holds).

I can change a baby's diapers, and don't mind doing so.

I can pilot a fixed wing aircraft, but have never landed one. Taken off, but not landed.

I can sorta kinda cook.

I can create improvised weaponry.

I'm a pretty good wrench, and a decent mechanical improviser.

edited to add -- your woman won't leave you for me ;-}
« Last Edit: January 29, 2014, 02:37:48 PM by bomber »
We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2014, 02:33:52 PM »
I can reproduce  :popcorn:

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Offline bomber

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2014, 02:36:49 PM »
We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

Offline satxbonneville

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2014, 02:37:41 PM »
I'm sure I'll make pretty good fertilizer.

Edited to add that it has nothing to do with the above post on reproducing. I've been out of that business since the late 80's.

Offline fourstring

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2014, 02:42:29 PM »

I'm sure I'll make pretty good fertilizer.



Right here. Id be dead soon. So there's that going for me.
For all the people that reside there, the center of the universe must be awfully crowded.

Offline Jim

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2014, 02:46:26 PM »
I can reproduce  :popcorn:

Did I miss some unknown thread where we should start sending ice cream and pickles?
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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2014, 03:03:42 PM »
Did I miss some unknown thread where we should start sending ice cream and pickles?

 :willy:

No, thanks. I think the world will end before I have children  :redface:
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Offline JReazor

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2014, 03:08:20 PM »
I would be fairly useless unless there's a need to install MS Office on 50,000 computers or obscure comic book trivia will save your life somehow.

Offline kneescrubber

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2014, 03:16:25 PM »
I can ride a unicycle   :bigsmile:

I shudder to think what kind of apocalypse that would be where this is a valuable asset.


But, I can juggle.  :thumbsup:
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Offline Jim

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2014, 03:23:55 PM »
I'd think a unicycle could out pace a zombie...
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Offline Cookie

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2014, 03:25:59 PM »
I can feed a lot of people.

I was thinking the same. Fuck survival. I'm going down shooting and will gladly take my rightful place among the undead.
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Offline Cookie

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2014, 03:27:00 PM »
I can reproduce  :popcorn:



What, you're a copy machine now?
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Offline bomber

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #15 on: January 29, 2014, 03:29:16 PM »
Did I miss some unknown thread where we should start sending ice cream and pickles?

 :willy:

No, thanks. I think the world will end before I have children  :redface:

You just keep tempting fate, doncha?

;-}
We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

Offline giaka

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2014, 04:01:13 PM »
I don't know how to act my age, I have never been this old before.........
MR MOJO RISIN unscrambled spells JIM MORRISON

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Offline misanthropist

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #17 on: January 29, 2014, 05:06:36 PM »
I have some handy skills. I'm good with machines and pretty skilled at working on a lot of different types of communication equipment. And then there's guns.

But I think actually my communication and people skills would be the most important. I am very good at dealing with groups of people and I typically get put in charge of things anywhere I work for that reason.
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Offline Jim

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #18 on: January 29, 2014, 05:17:45 PM »
I'm thinking grid electricity will stop fairly quickly (municipal water pumping & purification would stop). Obtaining clean water will be high on the survival list for all.
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Offline Scratch

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #19 on: January 29, 2014, 05:28:52 PM »
I can reproduce  :popcorn:



We're talking post-apocalypse; not "what will bring the apocalypse".

Online squeezer

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #20 on: January 29, 2014, 05:29:49 PM »
I'm a megalomaniac with the organizational skills to develop an autocratic dictatorship with myself in charge.

I'll find a place for the skills the rest of you have.    :)


P.S.  I also know when to use who vs. whom.  Somebody will have to.
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Online coho

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #21 on: January 29, 2014, 05:43:15 PM »
I can ride a unicycle   :bigsmile:

I shudder to think what kind of apocalypse that would be where this is a valuable asset.


But, I can juggle.  :thumbsup:

ClownPocalypse.  :willy:
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Offline kneescrubber

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #22 on: January 29, 2014, 05:51:02 PM »
I can ride a unicycle   :bigsmile:


I shudder to think what kind of apocalypse that would be where this is a valuable asset.


But, I can juggle.  :thumbsup:


ClownPocalypse.  :willy:


Exactly.

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Offline Jim

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2014, 06:18:53 PM »
In related, by wording, news... I heard this on the radio while talking about China's air quality:
smogpocalypse

http://theweek.com/article/index/251497/8-scary-facts-about-chinas-smogpocalypse
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Offline sodapop6620

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #24 on: January 29, 2014, 06:32:30 PM »
I can panic. :willy:

Offline Cookie

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #25 on: January 29, 2014, 06:45:11 PM »
I can panic. :willy:

Ooo ooo, I can help with that!!
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Offline Stripes

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #26 on: January 29, 2014, 06:56:29 PM »
I can blend in.
Hard work, pays off in the future. Laziness, pays off now.

Offline Meemuh

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #27 on: January 29, 2014, 07:46:08 PM »

I can pilot a fixed wing aircraft, but have never landed one. Taken off, but not landed.


 :crazy:

Offline CLAY

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #28 on: January 29, 2014, 08:01:26 PM »
I can weld, work metal, wood, and such.
I can shoot well and probably could take on a small island nation if I can have a few good people to outfit and work with.
I can trap and catch food using stuff I find outdoors.
I know how to filter and purify water for drinking.
I can hunt.
I can cook.
I can make fire with basic elements (flint, steel).
I can read people pretty well.
I have a bugout plan.
I can catch fish with basic elements.
I can brew and distill.
I can tear down an engine and rebuild it.
I can make love to my woman and leave her breathless.   :bigsmile:  (At least that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.)
Most importantly I can adapt!

You will all be welcome at Claymerica.  Even the fertilizer people- we need people to haul water and garden too!

Connie- come on down- we'll eat you first.  I'm guessing you're not toxic anymore after cutting back on the booze.   :bigok:
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Let's do some science.

Offline satxbonneville

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #29 on: January 29, 2014, 09:17:35 PM »
Connie- come on down- we'll eat you first.  I'm guessing you're not toxic anymore after cutting back on the booze.   :bigok:

You're gonna need some fava beans to go with that.

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #30 on: January 30, 2014, 12:25:57 AM »
You will all be welcome at Claymerica.  Even the fertilizer people- we need people to haul water and garden too!
Connie- come on down- we'll eat you first.  I'm guessing you're not toxic anymore after cutting back on the booze.   :bigok:

:lol:
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Offline JonS

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #31 on: January 30, 2014, 06:23:00 AM »
I have a dog.

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Offline chornbe

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #32 on: January 30, 2014, 06:27:46 AM »
So what are your post apocalypse skills?

Lets see things I am pretty good at...

All things mechanical, worked as a small engine machinist in the past and rebuilt several large engines as well
I can fly a plane as well as repair or build them
Decent understanding of structures  in regards to building and maintaining them
I can reload ammo, pour bullets, etc. I can skin and quarter large game (as well as the small stuff obviously)
I can brew beer and make ethanol (for drinking or for fuel)
Pretty decent gardener, vegetables and herbs  :P
Good computer and networking skills but that might not be an asset in post apocalypse LOL
I can ride a unicycle   :bigsmile:

I can shoot.
I can kill critters and do the basics to make them edible.
I can probably revive my gardenin'.
I know layman's mechanical engineering and work in almost any environment.
I know a lot of tech stuff.
I know automotive and complex mechanical systems.
Most of all, I can live with my decisions without them tearing me apart and filling me with self doubt. At least these days. I'd be able to make the hard choices. I've spent the last couple years growing, maturing, hardening and doing a whole lot of self examination of the soul and shit like that. I would welcome friends and bury deep enemies and chaos brings, and sleep like a baby.
Oh, and I can play drums. Can't sing for shit. So... my options as an entertainer are incredibly limited. But I'll haiku the fuck out of the apocalypse.
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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #33 on: January 30, 2014, 07:04:02 AM »

I can pilot a fixed wing aircraft, but have never landed one. Taken off, but not landed.

That kind of talk will get you on the terrorist watchlist.  ;D

Offline bomber

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #34 on: January 30, 2014, 09:04:09 AM »
I have a dog.

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OUTSTANDING MOVIE/STORY/AUTHOR!

Well Done!
We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

Offline bomber

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #35 on: January 30, 2014, 09:05:24 AM »

I can pilot a fixed wing aircraft, but have never landed one. Taken off, but not landed.

That kind of talk will get you on the terrorist watchlist.  ;D

Good point.

Edited to say, never stopped aburptly due to unplaned airframe/environment interface.
We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

Offline chornbe

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #36 on: January 30, 2014, 09:47:43 AM »

Edited to say, never stopped aburptly due to unplaned airframe/environment interface.

Excellent!  :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #37 on: January 30, 2014, 11:52:57 AM »
I can make lists. Oh, wait...
Putting the laughter back into manslaughter

Offline satxbonneville

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #38 on: January 30, 2014, 12:36:57 PM »
I have a dog.

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That milking machine still haunts my nightmares.

Offline CosmicCowboy

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #39 on: January 30, 2014, 02:03:02 PM »
I'd be fairly useful at gathering food, in that I can hunt and fish. I haven't cleaned all types of game, but if you follow the advice "just cut away what you don't want to eat" what could go wrong?

I can build shit. It may not look pretty, but it will work.

I can do most maintenance on engines. Not so great once the computer gets involved, but on any small gas engine I should be ok.

I can shoot fairly well. So besides hunting I can help with defense.

While I'd prefer unarmed combat, I can improvise escrima, bo staff, and nunchuks.

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #40 on: January 30, 2014, 03:05:29 PM »
i can judge character and recruit w/ charm and laughter

i can speak with authority while making eye contact and manipulate people into doing what needs to be done cuz it sounds like I should be in charge and people will want structure and purpose

with those skills, I can amass all your collective skills and put them to work

:)

and I can sing so chris and I can do a mean version of little drummer boy

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #41 on: January 30, 2014, 03:08:03 PM »
what i can't do is use the shift key
If a person's primary concern is increasing freedom, they should prepare for a reduction in average lifespan.  ---  Misanthropist

If you say "Gullible" real slow, it sounds like "Orange"

Offline satxbonneville

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #42 on: January 30, 2014, 03:13:01 PM »

and I can sing so chris and I can do a mean version of little drummer boy

F'cking tyrant.

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #43 on: January 30, 2014, 03:17:29 PM »

I can pilot a fixed wing aircraft, but have never landed one. Taken off, but not landed.

That kind of talk will get you on the terrorist watchlist.  ;D

Good point.

Edited to say, never stopped aburptly due to unplaned airframe/environment interface.

perhaps the best mis-spelled word ever.
If a person's primary concern is increasing freedom, they should prepare for a reduction in average lifespan.  ---  Misanthropist

If you say "Gullible" real slow, it sounds like "Orange"

Offline chornbe

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #44 on: January 30, 2014, 04:22:09 PM »

and I can sing so chris and I can do a mean version of little drummer boy

pah rumpa bum bum, bitches.  8)
this signature on hold pending review

Offline CLAY

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #45 on: January 30, 2014, 04:24:50 PM »
Oh, and I can play drums. Can't sing for shit. So... my options as an entertainer are incredibly limited. But I'll haiku the fuck out of the apocalypse.

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Online squeezer

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #46 on: January 30, 2014, 06:24:43 PM »


Oh, and I can play drums. Can't sing for shit. So... my options as an entertainer are incredibly limited. But I'll haiku the fuck out of the apocalypse.


Desolation reigns
Misery covers the land
Chris, please stop singing
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Online Skee

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #47 on: January 30, 2014, 06:31:32 PM »
I'm pretty much completely useless.  You'll want me around for sure because i'll do nothing. I'll be the most valuable member of the community because I'll make everyone else feel so worthwhile. 
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Offline Cookie

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #48 on: January 30, 2014, 06:35:58 PM »
I'm pretty much completely useless.  You'll want me around for sure because i'll do nothing. I'll be the most valuable member of the community because I'll make everyone else feel so worthwhile. 

You'll make good bait.
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Offline Jim

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Re: How valuable are YOU after the apocalypse?
« Reply #49 on: January 30, 2014, 06:55:46 PM »
I'm pretty much completely useless.  You'll want me around for sure because i'll do nothing. I'll be the most valuable member of the community because I'll make everyone else feel so worthwhile.

At least we know who'll be king...
sodapop6620: You are never lost as long as you have gas.  Mrs. DantesDame: Side roads lead to interesting discoveries