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Author Topic: The Post-Ho Thread  (Read 265183 times)

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1700 on: June 27, 2019, 02:25:16 PM »
"I am the Queen of England,
I like to sing and dance.
And if you don"t believe me,
I will punch you in the pants."

Benny Hill?


National Lampoon.. try to keep up son...   :augie:

But it's so easy to imagine Benny doing that rhyme in his little singsong way.


As I recall the young lady with boxing gloves was much more delightful.... :naughty:
You have a good remembry.
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1701 on: June 27, 2019, 02:59:25 PM »
IMPORTANT NOTICE – DEBIT CARD SAFETY RECALL
Dear customer
Many of our bank costumers have reported their debit cards have caught fire while they are in wallets and purses, and so as a precushion we are issuing an URGENT safety recall. This is a matter of the uppermost emergency as your card could create a pocket fire at any given moment, burning your legs and stomach terribly. This is because of a fault in the factor process at our debit card factory in Molton Keynes.
Therefore, for your own safety and verification, please complete the bottom of this form and return it with your debit card to the safety manager at the following address:
Mr Smith
Barclays Debit Card Factor
187 Bangalore Lane
Bangalore
India
Best wishes
Eric Smith
Barclays Debit Card Safety Manager

IMPORTANT: The PIN number of for verification porposes only and will destroyed immediately upon a rival. Your private details will not be compromised at any time.
Putting the laughter back into manslaughter

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1702 on: June 27, 2019, 07:35:20 PM »
It's just a "precushion"...
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1703 on: June 28, 2019, 06:56:27 PM »
Boy! you're lucky they caught that!


 :smiley_thumb:
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1704 on: June 29, 2019, 05:17:06 AM »
Send him a buck.
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Putting the laughter back into manslaughter

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1706 on: July 01, 2019, 01:32:44 PM »
Another one not good enough for the weird news thread. Man fails to go to work. BECAUSE HE'S FECKING DEAD. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-48829370
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1707 on: July 01, 2019, 03:59:31 PM »
She said: “My son is five months old, but if he was old enough, he would probably be upset.”
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1708 on: July 13, 2019, 02:41:26 PM »
 I keep my toothbrush clean by giving it a once over with the loo brush. My friends find it hilarious as they can't tell if the brown stains are from loo brush or my 60 a day Capstan full strength habit.
Putting the laughter back into manslaughter

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1709 on: July 13, 2019, 05:39:44 PM »
I keep my toothbrush clean by giving it a once over with the loo brush. My friends find it hilarious as they can't tell if the brown stains are from loo brush or my 60 a day Capstan full strength habit.
You need a tattoo of that.
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Offline Eh2zed

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1710 on: July 18, 2019, 06:41:25 PM »
I used to live here but it looks like the new residents didn't change the furniture. Nice.
My GPS just told me to turn left, then turn left, then turn left, then turn left.
So if I go too far left do I end up right?

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1711 on: July 18, 2019, 07:04:00 PM »
We can bewbies and gifs with jiggly bits too!

Papa is still a stale biscuit.

Dantes Damn still wields heavy handed moderation.


Some whacknut made me a mod.


Clay is a duck.
“Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.”

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1712 on: July 18, 2019, 07:04:22 PM »
I used to live here but it looks like the new residents didn't change the furniture. Nice.
That’s an old avatar...
 :couch:
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1713 on: July 18, 2019, 07:04:43 PM »
We can bewbies and gifs with jiggly bits too!

Papa is still a stale biscuit.

Dantes Damn still wields heavy handed moderation.


Some whacknut made me a mod.


Clay is a duck.

All accurate.
If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1714 on: July 19, 2019, 09:29:07 AM »

That’s an old avatar...
 :couch:
[/quote]

Hell man I have Windows 10. I can't figure out how to do almost anything and I have trouble using my Android cell phone. I'm pretty good with a 1965 Plymouth car radio though. ON: Push button. Make louder: Turn button. Change station: Rotate other knob.

Seriously I can't get a photo from my phone onto my computer. I just spent half an hour trying.
My GPS just told me to turn left, then turn left, then turn left, then turn left.
So if I go too far left do I end up right?

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1715 on: July 19, 2019, 11:10:48 AM »
Email it to yourself.
“Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.”

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1716 on: July 20, 2019, 05:08:17 AM »
All the best Hos are sleeping.
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1717 on: July 20, 2019, 05:08:47 AM »
Now is my chance to shine!
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1718 on: July 20, 2019, 05:09:13 AM »
Where’s my shoe polish?
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1719 on: August 11, 2019, 02:59:24 PM »
Old telephone directories make great address books. Simply cross out the names of all the people you don’t know.
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1720 on: August 11, 2019, 06:33:31 PM »
Impeccable logic for shut-ins.
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1721 on: August 11, 2019, 09:32:59 PM »
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If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1722 on: August 12, 2019, 05:29:12 AM »
Quote from: coho
Nun sacciu, nun vidi, nun ceru e si ceru durmiv.
If you say that backwards, it sounds like “Paul is dead”.
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1723 on: August 12, 2019, 10:01:54 AM »
I miss El Kabong
My GPS just told me to turn left, then turn left, then turn left, then turn left.
So if I go too far left do I end up right?

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1724 on: August 12, 2019, 12:34:50 PM »
BaBa Louie is still alive, but he can’t renew his green card, so he’s out of work.
 :shrug:
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1725 on: August 16, 2019, 01:28:04 PM »
honestly last night someone asked me if crabs think we walk sideways n a havent stopped thinkin about it since (Scottish quote off Twitter)
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1726 on: August 17, 2019, 04:04:11 PM »
Very Ho-ish.
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1727 on: August 17, 2019, 06:44:18 PM »
If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says
Fifteen miles to the, love shack, love shack yeah
I'm headin' down the atlanta highway
Lookin' for the love getaway
Headed for the love getaway, love getaway
I got me a car, it's as big as a whale
And we're headin' on down to the love shack
I got me a chrysler, it seats about twenty
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money
The love shack is a little old place where
We can get together
Love shack baby
A love shack baby
Love shack, baby love shack
Love shack, baby love shack
Love shack, baby love shack
Love shack, baby love shack
Sign says, woo, stay away fools
'Cause love rules at the love shack
Well it's set way back in the middle of a field
Just a funky old shack and I gotta get back
Glitter on the mattress
Glitter on the highway
Glitter on the front porch
Glitter on the hallway
The love shack is a little old place where
We can get together
Love shack, baby
Love shack, baby
Love shack, that's where it's at
Love shack, that's where it's at
Huggin' and a-kissin', dancin' and a-lovin'
Wearin' next to nothing 'cause it's hot as an oven
The whole shack shimmies
Yeah the whole shack shimmies
The whole shack shimmies when everybody's movin' around
And around and around and around
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby
Folks linin' up outside just to get down
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby
Funky little shack
Funky little shack
Hop in my chrysler, it's as big as a whale
And it's about to set sail
I got me a car, it seats about twenty, so come on
And bring your jukebox money
The love shack is a little old place where
We can get together
Love shack baby
A love shack baby
Love shack, baby love shack
Love shack, baby love shack
Love shack, baby love shack (oh baby that's where it's at)
Love shack, baby love shack (baby that's where it's at)
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
Knock a little louder baby!
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
I can't hear you
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
Knock a little louder sugar!
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
I can't hear you
Bang bang bang on the door baby, knock a little louder
Bang bang on the door baby, bang bang!
On the door baby, bang bang!
On the door, bang bang!
On the door baby, bang bang!
You're what?
Tin roof
Rusted!
Love shack, baby love shack!
Love shack, baby love shack!
Love shack, baby love shack!
Love shack, baby love shack!
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1728 on: August 17, 2019, 07:26:35 PM »
Only Jason Bourne could smash into a van door with the front wheel of a motorcycle and knock a guy’s head through the window, and the ride the bike up and down a few flights of stairs.
When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.    Henry Ford

The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible,
but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.   Vincent van Gogh

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1729 on: August 17, 2019, 07:40:39 PM »
Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not. Cats have nineteen.
-David Thorne
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1730 on: August 17, 2019, 07:44:20 PM »
Currently watching The Bourne Ultimatum.

Long live the queen.
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1731 on: August 17, 2019, 08:35:34 PM »
Long live the queen.

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If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1732 on: August 17, 2019, 09:25:10 PM »
There's a big dog wearing a cone on her head lying on my lap sleeping and I have to go to the bathroom. How far do people go to accommodate pets?
My GPS just told me to turn left, then turn left, then turn left, then turn left.
So if I go too far left do I end up right?

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1733 on: August 17, 2019, 09:58:16 PM »
There's a big dog wearing a cone on her head lying on my lap sleeping and I have to go to the bathroom. How far do people go to accommodate pets?

Not very far....  as long as you feed the hound he'll still love you
Freedom without regulations that protect the general good is nothing less than anarchy by the rich.

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1734 on: August 18, 2019, 05:12:37 AM »
There's a big dog wearing a cone on her head lying on my lap sleeping and I have to go to the bathroom. How far do people go to accommodate pets?
Depends.

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1735 on: August 18, 2019, 05:28:45 AM »
In every group of friends, one has the potential to be a serial killer. Steve looked downright dodgy, so I pushed him off a cliff yesterday. Mind you, Paul looks pretty untrustworthy and could be violent.
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1736 on: August 18, 2019, 08:04:35 AM »
Ice nine freeze pops.
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1737 on: August 18, 2019, 10:17:07 AM »
In every group of friends, one has the potential to be a serial killer. Steve looked downright dodgy, so I pushed him off a cliff yesterday. Mind you, Paul looks pretty untrustworthy and could be violent.

I don't know you. Never heard of you. And no, I'm not coming over for dinner.
My GPS just told me to turn left, then turn left, then turn left, then turn left.
So if I go too far left do I end up right?

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1738 on: August 18, 2019, 11:26:41 AM »
In every group of friends, one has the potential to be a serial killer. Steve looked downright dodgy, so I pushed him off a cliff yesterday. Mind you, Paul looks pretty untrustworthy and could be violent.

I don't know you. Never heard of you. And no, I'm not coming over for dinner.

I'm getting short of friends. Go on. Come over.
Putting the laughter back into manslaughter

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1739 on: August 30, 2019, 01:47:10 AM »
100% of criminals were once children. Eliminate children, eliminate crime.
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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1740 on: August 30, 2019, 05:43:23 AM »
Love to love ya, Baby.
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
"If Slipknot can wear a mask for a full set then you can wear a mask for your trip into Walmart!”
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Offline stevent

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1741 on: August 30, 2019, 09:15:08 AM »
Jeffery Dahmer's mom said she didn't like his friends, he told her that was OK, just eat the vegetables instead.
"Sure I get the best parking spots, but who could love a man with a wooden leg and a face like a hens arse?"

Online Papa Lazarou

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1742 on: August 30, 2019, 01:10:36 PM »
It isn't easy for White Supremacists, being the only group of people who are discriminated against on the basis of the colour of other people's skin.
Putting the laughter back into manslaughter

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1743 on: August 31, 2019, 03:09:00 PM »
Pull the bed-clothes over your head, and breathe deeply.
That’s reality.
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
"If Slipknot can wear a mask for a full set then you can wear a mask for your trip into Walmart!”
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Offline Cookie

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1744 on: August 31, 2019, 07:27:35 PM »
🦆
“Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.”

― Frank Zappa

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1745 on: August 31, 2019, 08:54:04 PM »
 :clap:
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
"If Slipknot can wear a mask for a full set then you can wear a mask for your trip into Walmart!”
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Online Papa Lazarou

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1746 on: September 01, 2019, 11:35:37 AM »
get to understand paranoid people better, by following them around and observing them.
Putting the laughter back into manslaughter

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1747 on: September 01, 2019, 06:32:38 PM »
There's one now.
 :couch:
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
"If Slipknot can wear a mask for a full set then you can wear a mask for your trip into Walmart!”
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Offline Eh2zed

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1748 on: September 02, 2019, 04:20:31 PM »
I worry about the possibility if becoming paranoid.
My GPS just told me to turn left, then turn left, then turn left, then turn left.
So if I go too far left do I end up right?

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Re: The Post-Ho Thread
« Reply #1749 on: September 02, 2019, 04:38:18 PM »
Mom says,
Don’t worry.
Be happy.
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
"If Slipknot can wear a mask for a full set then you can wear a mask for your trip into Walmart!”
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