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Author Topic: You laugh. You Lose.  (Read 388515 times)

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Offline CLAY

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2400 on: May 12, 2020, 03:06:31 PM »
The struggle is real for us extroverts...
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"Most accidents happen when the meek meet the douchebags."  -Viffergyrl
"The wider the road, the worse the food." -Coho
Let's do some science.

Online squeezer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2401 on: May 12, 2020, 03:35:35 PM »
 :lol:  Out.


And I had no idea where to post this, but it has to be shared.
"Let It Go" from the Disney movie Frozen.

In Klingon.

https://soundcloud.com/jen-usellis-mackay/let-it-go-klingon-version?fbclid=IwAR1SfUXo_Xbm2EO8UlpTcTbaxELzZ3ipSbl3NfOAfwBgfs8zAFpbdcKwaEo
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Online jadziadax8

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2402 on: May 12, 2020, 06:09:26 PM »
Winnar!
She's got a worm in 'er belly? That's disgusting! That's interesting, but very disgusting. 

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Online squeezer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2403 on: May 12, 2020, 08:46:18 PM »
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Online jadziadax8

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2404 on: May 13, 2020, 06:59:37 AM »
Too soon. :nono:
She's got a worm in 'er belly? That's disgusting! That's interesting, but very disgusting. 

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Online jadziadax8

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2405 on: May 16, 2020, 12:30:41 PM »
I can’t believe this one got through the license plate censor.
She's got a worm in 'er belly? That's disgusting! That's interesting, but very disgusting. 

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2406 on: May 16, 2020, 06:19:59 PM »
 :rolf: :rolf: :rolf:
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison

”And the music was good, and the music was loud, and the singer he turned and he said to the crowd, LET THERE BE ROCK!”
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Online zer0netgain

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2407 on: May 17, 2020, 04:04:16 AM »
I can’t believe this one got through the license plate censor.

I’m not seeing it. :(
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Online bedlamite

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2408 on: May 17, 2020, 05:56:02 AM »
A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen.

Offline ChrisFZ1

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2409 on: May 17, 2020, 11:02:14 AM »
.

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2410 on: May 17, 2020, 12:03:08 PM »
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If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2411 on: May 18, 2020, 06:28:09 PM »
I present Shane, WalMart employee:


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A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen.

Online jadziadax8

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2412 on: May 18, 2020, 07:17:54 PM »
I want to party with that guy!
She's got a worm in 'er belly? That's disgusting! That's interesting, but very disgusting. 

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2413 on: May 18, 2020, 07:21:01 PM »
Shane for president of WalMart.
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"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison

”And the music was good, and the music was loud, and the singer he turned and he said to the crowd, LET THERE BE ROCK!”
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Online HipGnosis

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2414 on: May 20, 2020, 08:21:42 AM »
Tinder is for rookies
Go to facebook marketplace
Search for 'wedding dress'
You'll see a lot for sale by recently stood up & divorced women
Filter by size of your preference / desires
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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2415 on: May 21, 2020, 01:05:49 AM »
This story made me happy all day.

Quote
Watch a governor read 'Harry Azcrac' during virtual graduation ceremony and slowly realize he was pranked

https://mashable.com/article/mississippi-governor-graduation-harry-azcrac/?fbclid=IwAR2kF9_dxBij3h8jd21fjtGpf-lYpdSRNn6dJYM6ln_Ca1mpHsv0AXl3d44
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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2416 on: May 21, 2020, 02:53:11 PM »
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A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen.

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2417 on: May 21, 2020, 03:17:04 PM »
One long out.
 :rolf:
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison

”And the music was good, and the music was loud, and the singer he turned and he said to the crowd, LET THERE BE ROCK!”
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Online jadziadax8

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2418 on: May 22, 2020, 07:01:32 AM »
:withstupid:
She's got a worm in 'er belly? That's disgusting! That's interesting, but very disgusting. 

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Online coho

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2419 on: May 23, 2020, 11:39:55 AM »
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If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY

Offline stevent

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2420 on: May 26, 2020, 01:09:02 PM »
Hubba Hubba..
"Sure I get the best parking spots, but who could love a man with a wooden leg and a face like a hens arse?"

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2421 on: May 26, 2020, 01:25:35 PM »
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A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen.

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2422 on: May 26, 2020, 01:39:29 PM »
Hubba Hubba..

Ball gag, ball not included?
If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2423 on: June 12, 2020, 06:26:55 PM »
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I wish I’d seen this sign earlier; I’ve lost SO many dice games with squirrels.
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison

”And the music was good, and the music was loud, and the singer he turned and he said to the crowd, LET THERE BE ROCK!”
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Online smoker

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2424 on: June 12, 2020, 08:05:17 PM »
 8)
Founding member, Keystone contingent, Flying Pig Association

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2425 on: July 07, 2020, 11:31:32 PM »
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Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2426 on: July 08, 2020, 09:57:54 AM »
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I don’t know art, but I know what I like...
 :naughty:
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison

”And the music was good, and the music was loud, and the singer he turned and he said to the crowd, LET THERE BE ROCK!”
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Offline thatguy

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2427 on: July 08, 2020, 09:21:00 PM »
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I don’t know art, but I know what I like...
 :naughty:

uhm........errrrrrr.........nevermind too easy
sometimes WTF is the appropriate answer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2428 on: July 09, 2020, 03:17:14 AM »
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It took me several minutes to realize what word that is supposed to be. ;D
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Offline DNA

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2429 on: July 10, 2020, 02:03:54 PM »
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I kinda figured it would be more popular in Blue
You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack  -You may find yourself in another part of the world
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile- You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife-
You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2430 on: July 15, 2020, 02:47:29 PM »
An old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500.”
The female teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.”
The old lady then asked, “Why?”
The teller irritably told her, “These are rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a line behind you.” She then returned the card to the old lady.
The old lady remained silent… but then she returned the card to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and said to the old lady, “My apologies Granny, you have $3.5 million in your account and our bank does not have so much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?”
The old lady then said, “Oh my.  Well, how much am I able to withdraw now?”
The teller told her, “Any amount up to $300,000”
The old lady then told the teller that she wanted to withdraw $300,000.
The teller did so quickly and handed it to the old lady respectfully.
The old lady took the cash, counted out $500, which she put  in her bag.  Then she asked the teller to deposit the $299,500 into her account.
Don't be difficult with old people... we can outwit the young and dumb..
Life is made up of moments, small pieces of glittering mica in a long stretch of gray cement. We have to teach ourselves how to make room for them, to love them, and to live, really live. - Anna Quindlen

Online Black Hills

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2431 on: July 15, 2020, 04:58:18 PM »
haha... true story, for real:

I needed a $6,000 cashiers check for closing on a land deal. I went to the bank:

"I need a $6k cashiers check"

"sorry sir we can't take a personal check for a cashiers check"

"but, you're my bank? you can see it's in the acct?"

"Sorry sir, that's the policy"

"umm OK, can you cash this check for $6k"

"of course"

she slides me the cash, I slide it back:

"I need a cashiers check for $6k"

"no problem sir"

gives me the cashiers check and I reply:

"I thought you couldn't take a personal check for a cashiers check?"

"We can't sir, I already told you that"

"OK, have a lovely day..."
the above are merely the ramblings of a hamfisted fuckwit who has broken too many helmets.

Offline stevent

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2432 on: July 16, 2020, 11:47:29 AM »
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It took me several minutes to realize what word that is supposed to be. ;D

Art is fistfucking?
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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2433 on: July 16, 2020, 12:19:03 PM »
No...but I think I like where you're going.  8)
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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2434 on: July 16, 2020, 12:27:25 PM »
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It took me several minutes to realize what word that is supposed to be. ;D

Art is fistfucking?
No...but I think I like where you're going.  8)


Ummm yea....I'm out  :o

Offline stevent

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2435 on: July 17, 2020, 08:51:02 AM »
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It took me several minutes to realize what word that is supposed to be. ;D

Art is fistfucking?
No...but I think I like where you're going.  8)


Ummm yea....I'm out  :o


You dropped a quarter.... :naughty: :augie:
"Sure I get the best parking spots, but who could love a man with a wooden leg and a face like a hens arse?"

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2436 on: July 17, 2020, 11:43:19 AM »
Tiny Tim orders Transport
https://youtu.be/eT5IGtWmQ-M
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison

”And the music was good, and the music was loud, and the singer he turned and he said to the crowd, LET THERE BE ROCK!”
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Offline thatguy

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2437 on: July 19, 2020, 11:33:19 AM »
Here.........
sometimes WTF is the appropriate answer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2438 on: July 22, 2020, 11:34:20 AM »
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If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY

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Putting the laughter back into manslaughter

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2442 on: July 28, 2020, 10:57:17 AM »
« Last Edit: July 28, 2020, 01:53:32 PM by 1KPerDay »
My hovercraft is full of eels

Online jadziadax8

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2443 on: July 28, 2020, 03:47:27 PM »
What did I just watch?
She's got a worm in 'er belly? That's disgusting! That's interesting, but very disgusting. 

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2444 on: July 29, 2020, 11:26:24 AM »
I had a flat while out driving. Remembering my drivers ed, I eased over to the shoulder of the road, got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out the two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car, facing oncoming traffic.
They looked so life-like! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nude bodies and private parts...
Well, cars started slowing down to look. Soon traffic began backing up.  Some tooted their horns, some waved and some yelled!
It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up. He got out of his car and walked towards me.
"What's going on here?!?" he barked.
"My car has a flat tire," I said matter of factly.
"Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here?"
So I told him, "Helloooooo... those are my emergency flashers, like I was taught to use in drivers ed!"
Life is made up of moments, small pieces of glittering mica in a long stretch of gray cement. We have to teach ourselves how to make room for them, to love them, and to live, really live. - Anna Quindlen

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2445 on: July 29, 2020, 02:27:52 PM »
Groan
My hovercraft is full of eels

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2446 on: July 29, 2020, 03:51:31 PM »
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"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison

”And the music was good, and the music was loud, and the singer he turned and he said to the crowd, LET THERE BE ROCK!”
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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2447 on: July 29, 2020, 04:03:07 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFn7qbU31A8


or pretty much anything on the iTomFoolery channel.

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2448 on: July 29, 2020, 08:57:01 PM »
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 :o   :lol: :lol: :lol:   I'm out and going to hell.
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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2449 on: July 29, 2020, 09:20:11 PM »
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 :o   :lol: :lol: :lol:   I'm out and going to hell.

The service industry is just that cutthroat. I assume that "BARTENDER WANTED!!!" is a pre-set option on that sign.
"Shit, Jimmy just got shot/stabbed/deported, go hit ctrl+2 on the reader board, we need a replacement for tomorrow."
If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY