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Author Topic: You laugh. You Lose.  (Read 381530 times)

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Online miles

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2300 on: March 14, 2020, 05:14:52 PM »
For sale:
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries

Offline Cookie

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2301 on: March 16, 2020, 07:36:40 AM »
Pssst, wanna come into my van?

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Online HipGnosis

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2302 on: March 16, 2020, 11:48:59 AM »
Pssst, wanna come into my van?

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Umm, okay.
But only for a little while.  Right??
Life is made up of moments, small pieces of glittering mica in a long stretch of gray cement. We have to teach ourselves how to make room for them, to love them, and to live, really live. - Anna Quindlen

Online bedlamite

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2303 on: March 20, 2020, 10:05:40 AM »
A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen.

Online smoker

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2304 on: March 20, 2020, 04:48:39 PM »
PSA
Founding member, Keystone contingent, Flying Pig Association

Online squeezer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2305 on: March 20, 2020, 08:37:53 PM »
Out!
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Online Flyer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2306 on: March 21, 2020, 09:01:51 PM »
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"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
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Online coho

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2307 on: March 21, 2020, 09:37:58 PM »
So out.
If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY

Online bedlamite

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2308 on: March 21, 2020, 10:15:20 PM »
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It's not a meteorite until it hits. It's still just a meteor.
A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen.

Online thatguy

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2309 on: March 22, 2020, 07:21:18 AM »
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sometimes WTF is the appropriate answer

Offline Cookie

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2310 on: March 22, 2020, 08:12:21 AM »
Thank you.
“Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.”

― Frank Zappa

Offline minimac

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2311 on: March 22, 2020, 10:11:48 AM »
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 OUT!!!
old enough to know better

Online coho

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2312 on: March 22, 2020, 11:42:04 AM »
Mrs. Vulcanbill?

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If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2313 on: March 22, 2020, 07:58:42 PM »
...and out.
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
"If you pour some music on whatever is wrong, it’ll sure help out” - Levon Helm
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Online Flyer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2314 on: March 22, 2020, 09:01:55 PM »
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"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
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Online miles

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2315 on: March 22, 2020, 10:37:50 PM »
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Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries

Online squeezer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2316 on: March 22, 2020, 11:27:24 PM »
Out. But inside out.
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Online Flyer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2317 on: March 23, 2020, 06:05:00 AM »
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"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
"If you pour some music on whatever is wrong, it’ll sure help out” - Levon Helm
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Online Vulcanbill

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2318 on: March 23, 2020, 06:33:38 AM »
Mrs. Vulcanbill?

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Minus the fairy, yeah, pretty much. 
If a person's primary concern is increasing freedom, they should prepare for a reduction in average lifespan.  ---  Misanthropist

If you say "Gullible" real slow, it sounds like "Orange"

Offline SuperHans

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2319 on: March 23, 2020, 10:31:38 AM »
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God help them.

Offline Baxter

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2320 on: March 23, 2020, 01:25:11 PM »
Mrs. Vulcanbill?

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Reminds me of a true story …

A lawyer friend had obtained a judgment against a bar and it's owner, and the sheriff's office was contacted to enforce the judgment.  A female deputy visited the bar to make arrangements to collect in a low key, professional manner. But the owner made the mistake of treating her like a little girl instead of like a woman with a badge and a gun.  Now she became a woman with a badge, a gun, and an attitude.  She collected that judgment is a way designed to maximize embarrassment and reduce his business by hanging out in the parking lot with her cop car during business hours and periodically walking in to take cash directly from the till.  ;D
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.  --Douglas Adams

Online bedlamite

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2322 on: March 24, 2020, 07:11:58 AM »
Out!
She's got a worm in 'er belly? That's disgusting! That's interesting, but very disgusting. 

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Offline Cookie

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2323 on: March 24, 2020, 07:19:51 AM »

"This Tweet is unavailable."
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Online Flyer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2324 on: March 24, 2020, 09:56:23 AM »

"This Tweet is unavailable."
HAHAHA!

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« Last Edit: March 24, 2020, 08:42:57 PM by Flyer »
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Offline Cookie

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2325 on: March 26, 2020, 06:50:48 PM »
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“Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.”

― Frank Zappa

Online squeezer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2326 on: March 26, 2020, 06:52:05 PM »
Out!
A man with no sig

Offline Andrew

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2327 on: March 26, 2020, 06:57:31 PM »
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 :rolf: :rolf: :rolf:
Sucker

I'm out
Freedom without regulations that protect the general good is nothing less than anarchy by the rich.

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Online coho

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2328 on: March 27, 2020, 01:57:34 PM »
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If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2329 on: March 27, 2020, 06:22:10 PM »
OUT behind the shed.
 :csm:
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
"If you pour some music on whatever is wrong, it’ll sure help out” - Levon Helm
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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2330 on: March 28, 2020, 11:26:23 AM »
Message from the Government

 

EMPLOYEE NOTICE

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 60 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give to our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Representative, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
"If you pour some music on whatever is wrong, it’ll sure help out” - Levon Helm
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Online 1KPerDay

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My hovercraft is full of eels

Online 1KPerDay

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2332 on: March 28, 2020, 05:37:43 PM »
My hovercraft is full of eels

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2333 on: March 28, 2020, 06:00:29 PM »
If a person's primary concern is increasing freedom, they should prepare for a reduction in average lifespan.  ---  Misanthropist

If you say "Gullible" real slow, it sounds like "Orange"

Online Flyer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2334 on: March 28, 2020, 06:08:34 PM »
« Last Edit: March 28, 2020, 07:09:33 PM by Flyer »
"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
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Online jadziadax8

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2335 on: March 29, 2020, 07:12:25 AM »
https://youtu.be/fnb7EqfykF4

That was spectacular and fascinating.

+1

I’d hate to have to debug that punch card, though!
She's got a worm in 'er belly? That's disgusting! That's interesting, but very disgusting. 

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Offline CLAY

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2336 on: March 29, 2020, 07:41:17 AM »
https://youtu.be/fnb7EqfykF4

That was spectacular and fascinating.

+1

I’d hate to have to debug that punch card, though!

Ha!  Great find.  That device is sweet!
"Most accidents happen when the meek meet the douchebags."  -Viffergyrl
"The wider the road, the worse the food." -Coho
Let's do some science.

Online bedlamite

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2337 on: March 31, 2020, 02:14:25 PM »
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A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen.

Online jadziadax8

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2338 on: March 31, 2020, 03:05:17 PM »
Bwahahaha!

So out.
She's got a worm in 'er belly? That's disgusting! That's interesting, but very disgusting. 

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Online Flyer

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2339 on: March 31, 2020, 04:36:47 PM »
Health check...
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"If you pour some music on whatever is wrong, it’ll sure help out” - Levon Helm
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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2340 on: March 31, 2020, 05:00:26 PM »
So out. And probably going to use that.
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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2341 on: March 31, 2020, 08:43:47 PM »
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"We have constructed pyramids, in honour of our escaping." - Jim Morrison
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Online 1KPerDay

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2342 on: March 31, 2020, 10:58:49 PM »
Out
My hovercraft is full of eels

Offline Cookie

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2343 on: April 01, 2020, 03:09:08 AM »
Haha
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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2344 on: April 01, 2020, 02:41:38 PM »
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If it weren't for the therapeutic properties of the occasional off-camber decreasing radius downhill right-hander I'd almost certainly go completely sane.

"I like the beverages."  -CLAY

Online jadziadax8

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2345 on: April 01, 2020, 05:32:22 PM »
That tracks.
She's got a worm in 'er belly? That's disgusting! That's interesting, but very disgusting. 

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Online zer0netgain

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2346 on: April 02, 2020, 04:47:32 AM »
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Online radon222

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2347 on: April 02, 2020, 06:38:02 AM »

Offline DNA

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2348 on: April 02, 2020, 03:06:40 PM »
You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack  -You may find yourself in another part of the world
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile- You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife-
You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

Online 1KPerDay

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Re: You laugh. You Lose.
« Reply #2349 on: April 02, 2020, 05:08:08 PM »
My hovercraft is full of eels